Practicing the Reiki Precepts brings ever-present support to your everyday life. Reiki master Maud Maynard is the daughter of an aging mother with dementia who previously wrote about Reiki practice gave her a new beginning at midlife. Now Maud shares how practicing the Reiki Precepts brings tenderness to this bittersweet time of life.
Practicing the Reiki Precepts is easier once you’ve memorized them, which you can do right now if you haven’t already. Here they are, followed by Maud’s Reiki story.
Do not anger, do not worry
With thankfulness, work diligently
Be kind to others
Living with the Reiki Precepts
By Maud Maynard
My 94-year-old mother has dementia.
The past year has been a series of adjustments as she lost her independence and moved into a nursing home where she continues on her course, safe and cared for.
I have become my mother’s brain, taking over the logistics of her life, trying to help her maintain emotional balance as I make decisions for her physical care. My siblings and I see that she receives consistent attention through our daily contact with her.
Today only, practicing the Reiki Precepts
I maintain my emotional and spiritual balance through my Reiki practice.
Practicing the Reiki Precepts is my touchstone for navigating the anger, grief and confusion of dealing with the changes brought on by dementia. As I meditate on the Precepts, I am able to detach from the anxiety buzzing in the back of my mind.
Do not anger
Anger often rises from the unease anxiety brings. I become abrupt and impatient. When angry, I have a knack for the cutting remark or dismissive comment.
Anger tricks me into believing, temporarily, that I can exercise control over a situation whose power outstrips mine. Then I remember I can control only my response. The good news is that by practicing the Reiki Precepts, I cultivate self-awareness and that awareness reminds me to “let it go,” to surrender, correct, move on.
Do not worry
Of all the Reiki Precepts, “do not worry” poses the biggest challenge to me.
The logistics of insurance and expenses, of communicating with caregivers, of being 45 minutes away, wondering about her state of mind at any given moment, these things pile up and often take over my thoughts, even reaching into my dreams.
When I recognize my concern for Mom has crossed into toxic territory, I reorient with the guidance of the Precepts.
With thankfulness, work diligently
I am grateful she is in a facility where the staff is attentive. I am grateful my family is able to comfort her with our visits.
Practicing the Reiki Precepts, I diligently strive to maintain a positive attitude. I know my thoughts are important.
My goal is always compassionate detachment, being a stable presence as she continues her difficult progress. I can’t make this dementia journey for her but I can be a loving witness and companion.
Be kind to others
I bring kindness to her, her companions and the center’s staff. I make it a point to acknowledge and truly see the residents and staff alike.
Small acts of kindness and presence matter.
Reiki Precepts practice brings presence
I practice Reiki as I prepare to visit my mother, leaning into the comfort my practice brings me. I always offer Reiki touch to Mom. She enjoyed it in pre-dementia days, calling me her medicine woman (with a wink!). Now she is very content to sit quietly and hold my Reiki hand.
It’s not that I never get angry, frustrated or worried. Of course I do.
Yet with consistent Reiki Precepts practice and the presence that brings, I’m more quickly aware when I veer off-kilter. I take the time to adjust my state and my thoughts.
By maintaining my stability through Reiki practice, I am a better version of myself, the daughter I long and choose to be.
Just for today
Just for today, I cherish our time together.
When I am present, I can create memories for myself even as my mother’s memories escape her.
Just for today, I am content.
More on Reiki and Dementia:
Reiki and Dementia
Reiki Healing Mother’s Dementia
Reiki Healing Mother’s Dementia, and More
HEART of PRACTICE REIKI RETREAT in MEXICO
January 25 – February 2, 2020
Mexico retreat details and registration.
5 thoughts on “Practicing the Reiki Precepts Brings Support”
Oh thank you for this, a wonderful and timely reminder of how living the precepts helps in care the of an aged parent. It is so useful to read about how Reiki helps you become more quickly aware that you are “off-kilter” and helps you adjust.
Maud, Thank you for this lovely essay on Reiki, your mom and dementia. It is indeed difficult, but this has given me a lot to think about. Thank you for sharing this with me. My prayers are with you.
I have been where you are now, with my mom. She started her dementia journey just before my dad passed in 2016. My dad made me promises that neither would go into a home, they wanted to pass at home in their comfort zone. I kept that promise…. Taking many mos but they both passed at home. My mom’s dementia claimed her only 17 months after its start. I learned many things as I cared for her and spending that time gave me some of my greatest memories. It taught me patience, more kindness, moving slowly, paving her way as this terrible disease took her in pieces. Your article reinforces that I did the right things. Thank you
Lisa, how wonderful that you were able to keep your parents home, especially given that’s what your father wanted.
Each family is different. Keeping aging parents at home isn’t an option for every family, nor is it necessarily the best option in all situations.
Maud, That was beautifully stated. So pround of you for all you ate doing for Mom, and have done for me. Thank you for being my touch stone, and beloved friend.? alley